This is just an email I sent out to my email group Hope for children with HLHS. I thought I would put it here as well, to share a little more of the hard things I face every day.
I hear you,I cannot explain to you what I felt hearing that my 4 week old son is going to have to undergo an unplanned procedure. we leave first think in the morning to go to Sick Kids in Toronto. We will be going back into hospital only 11 days after discharge. I am thankful they found this problem before it became just that...a problem. Its just my first time having to face a procedure that wasn't in my plans. I know there are three surgeries... but what about all the issues that arrise between them as well? i am lucky as he is my first, and luckily don't know any different. Even though I don't know what its like to have a HH (heart healthy) child, I still am mourning what should have been. I love Yale with all my heart, but the knowledge that he could leave us at any moment is so tormenting. All we can do is live day to day, and enjoy the blessing that we have, while we have them.
Take Care,
Tanna Leigh
http://babyboyseaton.blogspot.com
1 comment:
Tanna,
theres no doubt you will face many unplanned nights in worry, more visits in TO then you care for, or should I say prepared for. I am not an everything happens for a reason person, but i do think that Yale is here for you for an enriching experience in your lives, and a humbling story that you have been sharing along the way...I hope you always have the support you need -always strong and honest and growing.
While other moms have HH children their child could be taken from them for any number of reasons, health/disease/an accident/SIDS/or other.... I think your dealing with this situation with an awareness you are strong enough and ready for... us other moms with HH children-until we read or come into contact with a story such as this -live as though nothing can go wrong. Like you having lost my babe in 2006, I think constantly of what ifs and why nots and the terror of not wanting that again. It isn't selfish or unaccepting of Yale its the nuture and love you have for him that you wanted to give and had hoped to give for the others.
Sorry longer then i meant.. but I just wanted to say, I get it...
Hugs Tami
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