OMG! 40 DAYS! thats the countdown until Kane's due date. AHHHHH!!! I am very excited to welcome this man into our family, and into my heart. I remember my prenancy with Yale. I was immediately bonded to him. However who wouldn't be after the loss we had endured 6 months before he was concieved. I remember the kicks and the full belly jumping. I remember the thoughts I've always had when we recieved his diagnosis. I loved him too much to care that he was sick. I have the same immense love for Kane as well. Only we haven't been told he is sick. As far as we know his heart is completely healthy, and he has no other issues. Honestly, I wouldn't care if he was sick. I just LOVE this little boy. this little boy whom I haven't even seen with my own two eyes.
Last night I was having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. I think I have been having them for some time, but only clued it last night what it really was. No pain, just tightening. Kane was moving lots in between them too. I feel like we have this rapport. Like an inside joke. I feel his love for me as much as I love him.
So back to the contractions. They kind of made me giddy. Yes I have to birth him, to get to hold him, and share him with the world. Most people feel apprehension towards that idea... I just am countin down the days. The idea that 70% of babies are born by the time their due date rolls around makes me smile... I wonder how I will know. I mean I know that I will KNOW when it is time. I was induced with Yale, but with cervidil, which is as close to natural an induction as well...its not natural. But I went from no contractions to going "Oooooookay.... time to head back upstairs" I was trying to round up my family while we were all in the book store. They just kind of looked at me like, okay bossy... eventually my sister saw the anguish on my face and she said, lets go, they know where to find you. I wonder will it be the same with Kane? will I just feel the contractions getting painful, or will my water break, or will I bleed? Its all just like this big surprise party I am waiting for. I know its coming, I just don't know when where or how? all I know is that I am ready to CELEBRATE!