time stands still today

So... they are going to try to do Yale's picc again today. Dr C came to me today dreading the hard job it would be to convince me to consent to the picc insertion... and all I had to say was...yup, I know. You see, when Yale went through this whole thing...he arrested in the early stages of the insertion, and the picc was abandoned when he went into arrest.
WHY!!??!!?? I bet you are all asking about the picc, and its simple. There was a strong reason for Yale to need the picc in the first place. While waiting for a new heart he'll be getting lots of bloodwork done, as well as be requiring lost of meds himself. Yale (as are most heart babies) is a difficult poke... EXTREMELY difficult is a better term. So to do blood work on Yale once requires usually about five pokes where they dig around and try to get a vein, and often they miss and don't get it at all and we have to try another time. Now think about 5 pokes probably one to two times a week for four weeks then multiply that by the months we could be waiting. It makes more sense for Yale to have the picc...as much as I am freaking out about that idea... I know he needs one and it will be easier on him if they can get one in..... skip now to why today. Yale is doing well. He's ready to come off the ventilator and start eating and getting back to normal baby things. BUT he is protected right now. He has the ventilator andthe central lines and the access to help him quickly if the bradycardia should happen again. They're even going as far as having the big guns loaded and in the syringe pump if he needs that sort of support again. I am hoping that he doesn't and that they can figure out a way to get that stupid picc in and Yale doesn't even notice... that its just a nap for him....
So he's going in between 2 and 2:30 today.... and I will come down here FIRST to let everyone know how it went. I'm terrified that he's not strong enough to fight it again, but confident that his doctor wouldn't risk it, if they didn't think it was neccessary and that he could make it through.
And right now I am leaning more on the letting him go, than the don't even dare side. I think there is a large chance it'll go smoothly now that he has milrinone on board and his electrolytes are leveled. *shrug* but only Yale and time will tell.... so... the resource center is open until 5. I'll come before then to let everyone know how it went... until then...time is standing still with anticipation.

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