Yale is in the ICU

Here in london. I finally listened to my gut and took him to emerge.... funny how one tries to convince themselves that everything is okay and this is "normal" and yadda yadda.... yeah...I was doing that... then just thought...I don't want him flown in a helicopter or worse... so I'm getting this checked out. Good thing I did... His sats were in the mid 60's.... which for a normal person is like death... and for yale is like...okay "why are you not doing so hot?" so they put him on oxygen and did the "work up" blood test, chest x-ray...echo...(not part of a normal work up...but for yale...he's special) they're still waiting to see if there are cultures in his blood or anything else... but his x-ray and echo looked the same as they were before we went to Toronto last... sooo... Why dear little Yale are your sats all crap? this is yet to be determined...

I met another of our new cardiologists Dr Rausch... he's nice...and calm... which I was as well...(wierd thing in an peads emergency room) but this is normal for me... and I was cracking jokes.. that he wasn't getting...but the nurses were... LOL. Anyhoo... so the phone calls were made to Sick Kids where they said...there is no reason that he can't be stablized in London...there is nothing more that could be done for him in toronto because it doesn't require any sort of surgical intervention. So... Yale was sent to the picu. well first we sat in emerge for 5 hours... which in perspective is a short period of time to get an icu bed... (how sad is that thought?) When we arrived he had the vip suite... big room in the corner... albiet the "loud" room in the corner...so Yale is desperate for sleep and then lost his IV...so they gave him one in his jugular...ya...it was as gross as it sounds...not an actual line in his jugular...just a periferal line there(vein tha runs parallell)... they're going to start him on some support meds... read: Milrinone, or dibutamine or both. Really...we have no idea why Yale is so unstable...SURPRISE.. so they don't want to do any major tweaking and throw off what is stable.... they think with just a bit of tweaking with the meds he's on and some rest and support he should be able to come home...but i'm not going to hold my breathe.... cuz that could kill me.

Funny that while Yale is laying over a nurses lap and a doctor is stabbing a needle into his jugular do i finally here the T word... Transplant. Its about time someone just cut to the shit already... like I was going to throw a tantrum and freak out because they think my child will need a new heart...I had pretty much expected it when he has NEVER had even semi good function... I'm not an idiot here people.... it was almost a relief that someone got honest and said exactly what I was thinking... how sick does this kid have to get before someone thinks..maybe this isn't working for him... Don't get me wrong... I don't want Yale to need a transplant...I want him to keep his own heart as long as he can... but I also don't want it to wait so long that he dies waiting for a heart because his just can't work hard or long enough.... So they finally got an Iv into his neck... (at least they didn't shave his head) and he was moved into a room with doors...so he can sleep...and he was given some chloral so he can sleep...and I can feel okay leaving... Not that anyone feels okay leaving a child in the ICU... but I don't want to sleep in a chair.... and Yale has a nurse by his side... he's finally getting some care...and so I am looking forward to this sleep... Some might think this sleep would be interrupted with stress and worry...but really... all my sleeps are interrupted by stress and worry... but tonight it won't be interrupted by screaming baby too.... (sorry...other heart mom's know that sometimes you have to laugh so you don't cry)

Anyhoo.... thats about the gist.... when I know more news...I'll let you all know... And sorry for those family members who may learn from an email before I make a call... I was busy in the icu today...and now I just want to eat something and go to bed...

Please pray for us....